Feelings,God, Life

It is my last day of year 10 and i cant help but think i kind of failed my class i feel like although i was proud of myself for my achievements i feel guilty like i have to do everything to help others for the one moment i was actually proud of myself it saddens me to think that at this stage of my life i just can't be proud of my achievements. I know I'm not the only one in this world that feels this way but i cant help but think there must be a solution to this, endless sadness that is constantly over running the people of this earth. and i i can keep thinking is to ask God.

God is a topic i am most passionate about it seems to me that it is extremely comforting to know that someone is willing to forgive you despite you sinning all the time. He gives you this constant feeling that you are worth something and it is nice to know that even if you don't believe it someone cares enough to say it to you.

I feel that support is a huge problem in my life at the moment i know of those friends that care about me but for some reason i just cant make them understand the problems in the class. Then another friend See's the pain and wrong -doings of a girl but has not got the confidence to tell her its wrong to do the things she is doing. Grrrrrrr it is so annoying to see sometimes.

The one thing i am glad about this year is that i didn't become one of the crowd i stuck to my belief's and i won the battle i thought i could never win. I have taken so much stuff for granted and you don't know how much you need something till its gone.

chat soon

Ruth

Prayer journals

It is an AWSOME idea i use one all the time.

Just buy an exercise book and use it to write your prayers in it it really helps to express your feelings and really talk to God

Just try it!!!!

Respect

Respect is something that so many teenagers don't have and don't want, They are always fighting for popularity, coolness. They are the constant bagger-outers and they have no want to succeed in anything but let downs.

As a christian we should strive to encourage others to do whats right and to be ourselves, but we seem to let it all go for the fear of being judged or hurt. I constantly strive to have at least one quiet time a day and 4 times to read the bible a day because the bibles influence makes us stronger to withstand those bullies who forget that just because your different doesn't mean you don't have feelings.

Reading the bible is a good way of getting stronger but it also brigs the devils work a notch higher. Remember that he hates you doing the right thinks he wants you to do the worst stuff he wants you addicted to drugs,alcohol anything you are weak with he will use to his advantage.

So many teens these days say their Christians but they are constantly rebelling by hate and fear.

They hate their teachers they hat their parents they hate themselves they hate God. That's where us Christians should pray and help those people.

Lifetime of pain

Hey i wrote this song for someone i care a lot about.

Lifetime of pain


I see behind your smile and i know your hurting,its been a while and i know your searching for that one true love that one satisfaction but you don't know the pain caused by your actions.

You no the truth, i know its hard to let go but i want you to know you must understand i wont let you go so just take my hand. I will be there all the way and i have no doubt you will go back to him someday.

You think he left you but i know that's not true, all the pain in your life is nothing but lies.Hes got hold of you but I'm praying for you.

Last time i saw you, your eyes showed hurting I was hurting with you that's how much i love you.
Be strong in God there's no use in running there's no need to cry let go you no you need him.

I hear his words he wants to hug you he wants you to let him love you. Your face says it all your screaming for this nightmare to end.It can all of this hurt can end just write that email and hit send he will be expecting your plea.He's already forgiven you, don you see.

All you have to do is forgive yourself let go of those burdens let them burn in hell.

I've broken free of those chains of condemnation so i can preach about God to every nation.

But I'm scared for you I cant help but cry because if you don't change i know where you'll end up when you die & to think there will be no rest but a lifetime of pain it's too much to bear it drives me insane.

I can't express my love i just hope its enough.What it all comes down to is are you strong enough to call Satan's bluff.

Dedicated to J.Murphy

Life

Life what is it worth and who cares any way?

these questions are always a problem in our generation.

life is so hard for so many people that its too hard for christians to keep up with who to help first.I am always trying to help someone but it turns out to be a mess i care so much about people that i want to do it all but if i dont take care of myself i will hurt myself phisically to the point were i dont help anyone.

it would be too hard to serch for everyone who needs someone to talk too so ill use this blog.If you want to learn more about god or if you need someone to pray for you i will be more then happy to talk to you. Someone dose care about you always so never feel they dont.

God Bless you

Ruth

Dont give up Hope

Life is hard sometimes especially for a teenager there is no telling what will happen to you when or how. There is that constant fear that you will be judged that no one will get you it is something that i struggled with for years.

But now i don't feel that i am alone you cant let those people change you, you cant let yourself believe for a second that your worth nothing the truth is your not, God made you who you are to change yourself now would be like being upset with God.

I know its hard to believe but you are special because God made you. You are loved because God loves you. I am urging you to believe this it took me so long to figure this out and i ended up with the pain to match.

This blog is not to make you sad it is made to give you hope to show you that God loves you.

you may be thinking no one will ever reach out to help me well i am, God has been reaching out to you the day you found your struggles he was there.

I hope that this helps someone to realise they are Loved.

My Story

Ok, Well i grew up in my dads church The Banner Of Love,i loved being there even though we diddnt exsactly live in a palace being a child of 4 years i was always sick at some stage and the mould in my room diddnt help either. My parents constantly showed me and my brother and sister their love there was never a time i felt unloved as most parents do they wanted the best for us even if it ment they were to do without.

From a very young age my parents taught me about God and it is a faith i have still today but it wasnt always easy.

By the time i was in prep i was spat on, kicked and laughed at for my faith at that stage i diddnt understand why they did that i felt weird and so i turned to God. In grade 1 i started a prayer group on the lawn of my public school oval every day i would bring my little blanket my childrens bible some bread and cordial and i would spend lunch waiting for people to come so i could break communion and pray over them. Very few came.

One Night we were having family prayer together,I was only 9 at the time and my mum read a passage from Job. That night i was saying my final prayer when i started to cry my mum and dad ran in and asked me what was wrong and all i could say was im happy, it was that day when i recieved christ as my savior.During this time my neighborhood i grew up in had 4 people stabbed or murdured and i lived in constant fear of being killed.

I was just finishing year 5 when i lost my friend i met in prep, one day we were walking around the school when she turned and said to me "Go away i cant attract boys with you hanging out with me". I was crushed i felt like no one cared about me no one would ever love me.It was then when i started to gain weight.

i then moved to my first private school, it was the most horrible school i had ever known. My teacher was mean and cold. Being at a public school their teaching was very bad they never taught us our timestables and i only new up to my 3 times tables. so when i went to the private school i had no idea what to do, my teacher made me stand up everyday in front of the class and recite my timestables and if i got it wrong my whole class would laugh at me. He would constantly put me down .he would say your to fat and even though i had a broken leg he would make me do laps around our oval at lunch and recess.

We then moved to Lara and i began at Covanant, Myself esteem was extreamly low i hated myself and i had no desire to continue on in life. During my first year there i was bullied by the boys in my class on a regular basis they hated me and i blamed myself for it i then started to stop eating hoping i would lose enough weight to get someone to actually love me. It diddnt work and i looked for another way to remove the pain.I started to hurt my self but nothing worked.It was then that someone helped me i could say she was my best friend but she wasnt the only way i could describe her is by calling her my sister i had someone who loved me she was and still is the closest person i no. I new then and no now that i can always count on her she was that one person to look at me for who i am and see something good which of corse i couldnt see.

I am now in year 10 my self esteem is still very low and i dont like myself but i have lost 15 kg and i am getting stronger by the day and that awsome friend is still there for me she diddnt bail out on me she still cares for someone like me and no one will ever no how much she means to me.

Those boys who hated me still do hate me they dont harass me as much and if i told them they had something to do with me getting to the points i did they wouldnt care but thats alright because i have God on my side all the way.

I am lucky to have two parents that love me so much they are truly a gift from God an if you look at them you no that they are the best parents in the world no one can beat there persistence to love and encourage me and i know that they would go to the ends of the earth to see me smile.

I hope i inspired someone out there to keep following God in all that they do.